<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Hour of the Flesh by Sempiternelle77</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24167479">The Hour of the Flesh</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sempiternelle77/pseuds/Sempiternelle77'>Sempiternelle77</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cunnilingus, Dominant Kylo Ren, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Female Anti-Hero, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Manipulative Relationship, Mommy Issues, Older Woman/Younger Man, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pastor!Luke, Psychiatrist!reader, Psychologists &amp; Psychiatrists, Psychopathology &amp; Sociopathy, Reader-Insert, Slow Build, Smut, Teenager Kylo Ren, Thriller, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Virginity Kink, cougar!reader, gun choking, stepdaughter!Rey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:35:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,861</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24167479</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sempiternelle77/pseuds/Sempiternelle77</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You are a manipulative, sociopathic, predatory psychiatrist, who is given the exact kind of patient you tried your best to avoid: a young, naive, violent highschooler by the name of Kylo Ren.</p><p>The therapy sessions provide the perfect setting to make him into your experiment and seduce him into your bed.</p><p>Regularly updated</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>109</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Session 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Side project, because I need to write shameless smut now and then.</p><p>I am not at all a psychologist. I have no idea what Im doing with these sessions. I don’t even like younger men, but I like, for once, the idea of a woman being the one in the position of power in a relationship - and I liked twisted, forbidden love. And smut. So This idea appeared before I could even control it !</p><p> </p><p>(Y/N) is your name, if you want to replace it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Come in!”</p><p> </p><p>The boy slithered clumsily in the room, a great stain of black contrasting with your beige paperwall and mahogany furnitures, and when he turned to face you, you immediately liked him. Of course you did. That’s why you had vowed never to work with teenagers.</p><p> </p><p>His dark eyes focused on your face, shiny, innocent, like a scared puppy uncertain of how to control his own overgrown limbs. His features were incredibly awkward, with a nose too big for his long face, large plump lips, and prominent ears barely hidden by thick dark hair, yet there was something utterly endearing about him. You could hardly contain the wave of heat that pooled in your belly in front of such helpless, masculine youth.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, please sit down, Ben.” You invited him, waving a hand at the chair in front of your desk.</p><p> </p><p>The boy frowned, and took perhaps a second too long to react, but silently obeyed the command. He looked at the ground and played with , unwilling to engage a conversation. You couldn’t help yourself and leaned a little on your desk, subtly offering him a better view of your cleavage, and laughed internally when his eyes flickered nervously to the bait. You knew he would struggle not to look back at it during the whole session. It was so very easy, with boys that age.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>You couldn't help yourself, you had always liked younger men, and the older you got, the younger your lovers became, until somehow your education or perhaps morality reminded you not to play with fire. You had settled down with a nice English teacher who was your age, and had even built a family of your own - but you couldn’t contain your inexorable desire for these soft-skinned, lusty, naive young men. And when Leia, your friend and former mentor , had asked you a favour, how could you possibly refuse ? Her son, she had explained, was truly mentally disturbed and had various anger issues, and she just couldn’t quite reach him. Their relationship was strained to say the least. But she didn’t wish for the community to hear about her own parental failure, and what better alternative than the very competent woman she had mentored herself ? </p><p> </p><p>You had fantasized about it, it was undeniable. As soon as you had accepted, your mind had fantasized on various plans to manipulate the young man. This unparalleled power on the psyche had been exactly what had driven you to choose this field in the first place - and you had perhaps used and abused it in the past, but never on someone you had been so attracted to. </p><p> </p><p>“We met before, do you remember ?” you started to break the ice. As expected, his eyes lingered on your body before glancing at your face, confused. “You were perhaps seven years old. Your mother had to take you to work because you had been expelled from school.”</p><p> </p><p>He had been an ugly, lanky child. Testosterone suited him very well indeed.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t recall” he somberly answered, but you could feel he remembered the incident you had mentioned. His voice was impossibly deep given his age, possibly due to his tall frame, and the contrast thrilled you even more. You tried to catch his eyes, hidden behind the curtain of his black hair, but he was looking away now.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s all start from the beginning, then, shall we ? My name is (Y/N), nice to meet you, Ben.”</p><p> </p><p>“Dont call me like that”, he merely replied like a petulant child.</p><p> </p><p>“Like what ?”</p><p> </p><p>He blatantly ignored you, face hardened, but was not very good at it and you could sense that he was curious towards you as well.</p><p> </p><p>“Ben ?” you pressed on, and wasn’t the childish anger on his face adorable. “Then what should I call you ?”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to call me anything.”</p><p> </p><p>What a dramatic, ridiculous answer. He was screaming for attention, really, and you had plenty to give.</p><p> </p><p>“But what if I really want to call you ? What do you want me to say ?”  you indulged him, and showed him the warmest smile you could muster. He was shuffling on his seat, hesitating, and you know you had to give him more to open his walls.</p><p> </p><p>“I myself never liked my true name” you lied. “I officially changed it. So I know how you feel.”</p><p> </p><p>He straightened up a bit and you knew you had caught his attention.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know we could do that. Changing the name. Officially, I mean.” he added, and he was trying his best to sound like a confident, rebellious young man, but you knew he was just a shy boy pretending to be the adult he was yet to become. You almost wanted to snort a little but luckily managed to control yourself. Such a personality type would never accept to be mocked, and that would undermine all your future progress.</p><p> </p><p>“It wasn’t easy” you continued. “I’ll show you how to do it one day if you want.” you had absolutely no idea what the procedure was, and before the boy could ask questions, and you knew he would, you redirected the conversation. “I gave you mine, now what’s yours, then ?” </p><p> </p><p>Once again, it took him perhaps half a minute to answer: “Call me Kylo Ren” and it almost sounded like an order.</p><p> </p><p>Such a nerd, you thought. You had no idea where it came from, but it sounded like a name out of a fantasy or science fiction book. At least it sounded sexy enough. Moreover, you absolutely loved the budding dominant nature he couldn’t hide. No wonder he clashed with his equally dominant and assertive mother. You fleetingly wondered if he was like that with everyone else, or if it was a test. You decided to act as if there was nothing abnormal, because the illusion of power was often enough to blind your patients to your manipulations.</p><p> </p><p>“Kylo Ren” you repeated, almost tasting the words on your tongue. “Kylo. Ren.” There was an alertness in his eyes, and he probably expected you to taunt him on his choice. “I like it. It’s a powerful name.”</p><p> </p><p>You knew you were a good actress but the sudden ease in his shoulders was proof that he believed you. You had to tread carefully and earn his trust before any attempt at psychological manipulation.</p><p> </p><p>“Aren’t you supposed to ask about my relationship with my mother and tell me how I feel ?” he quipped with a bitter tone, but it was a step forward.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that what you want to talk about ? That is not really my style.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah ? What’s your style then ? Inkblots and tissues ?”</p><p> </p><p>You relaxed in your seat, and calmly answered, almost suggestively: “Why don’t you find out ?”</p><p> </p><p>That seemed to disconcert him a little, and you let that sink in a moment before adding: “you seem to have a very specific notion of how this all works.”</p><p> </p><p>“My mother is a shrink. You’d know.” He shook his head in contempt. “I have… <em> experienced </em> all her tactics.”</p><p> </p><p>“Now I am not your mother, am I ?” You crossed your legs, and although they were partly hidden by the desk, you made sure your seat was far enough from it for the boy to see the slow, titillating movement, rubbing your legs together.</p><p> </p><p>You saw his tongue licking the inside of his mouth and the sudden nervousness in his eyes. You knew it was subtle enough for the boy to think that the eroticism of it all came from his own mind. Oh, he had to be a virgin. You really hoped he was, at least he looked like one.</p><p> </p><p>“You certainly don’t look like a screeching, manipulative hag.”</p><p> </p><p>You couldn’t help yourself and smiled, half-amused, half-surprised with his forwardness. When he reciprocated with his own small self-congratulatory smirk, you knew it was better to let him imagine that he had both shocked and impressed you. Typical teenage bravado, criticizing the figures of authority.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not very nice, Kylo.” And you made sure to use his prefered name. People loved when you used their name, it made them feel like the center of the world. A little psychological trick you had been quick to notice.</p><p> </p><p>“I am not a nice man.” and truly - it was hard not to scoff. How much cliché could that boy be ? Yet, his dark and boyish intensity made that declaration all the more alluring. There <em> was </em> something bad about him, some violent tendencies that had led him to your office.</p><p> </p><p>“And you like that ? Not being nice ?”</p><p> </p><p>He shrugged. “Perhaps.” The casualness was not faked. He truly thought it to be true, and didn’t seem perturbed by it. You wondered if he would be receptive to guilt-tripping, which had been your initial plan -otherwise you had to choose another approach to manipulate him.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you like, Kylo ?” you slowly asked, and you wondered if he would be already comfortable enough to answer, but he merely shrugged. Stupid boy. You would investigate anyway. “Perhaps another time, then.”</p><p> </p><p>“What ? Is it already over ?”  Eager, was he ?</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not an official session yet. I just wanted to meet you, and there’s not really a point if you don’t want to talk with me just yet.” There, the first guilt-trip attempt. You examined him like a hawk, and his boyish face frowned - he really did not have a lot of nuances in his facial expressions. “Who knows, maybe you’ll come to like me.” You paused, and waited for his full attention before adding. “I think I’m going to like you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re weird” he bluntly replied, but he did look slightly flustered, and not in a bad way.</p><p> </p><p>“I just say what I think. You should try it sometimes, it’s relaxing.” you teased him, then stood up to open the door, and waited for him to do the same to shake his hand. You gazed deeply into his eyes as you did so, and the height difference was enough that you had to look up to him. He automatically did the same, and your hand was engulfed by his larger one.   “See you later, then, Kylo Ren.” </p><p> </p><p>You watched him leave, and sure thing, you did catch him turn around to look at you one last time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Session 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's just a trash side project, I didn't check to see if it needed correction, I hope there aren't too many mistakes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“... My wife has yet to be convinced, you know. Ball busting is not for everyone, you know…”</p><p> </p><p>There was an unmistakable twinkle behind your current patient’s eyes, some middle-aged man who had been trying hard to excite you lately. Well, since the beginning of the therapy, really. He had been initially given a male psychiatrist, and had been adamant that he truly needed a female ear to listen to his spicy woes. At first it was amusing, slightly arousing even, and at some point it just became repetitive and truly disgusting.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps, yes, perhaps in another life you could have perceived him as rather handsome… But weren’t you born a wicked soul ? All you could see was the flatness of his skin, the dryness of his flesh, the lines on his face, and the repulsing self-awareness that comes as we age. But sexual attraction is not your only, holy stimuli, no.</p><p> </p><p>“ Is her constant rejection of your ideas starting to repel you sexually ?” you interjected, sowing yet again the seeds of discord in his mind. You barely listened to his answer.</p><p> </p><p>Power. Power was the true addiction. The intoxicating impact you could have on other’s lives, the way you could wield their destiny like a capricious god, and lead them to annihilation. There is beauty in not only unravelling the mind, but to expose its most fragile nerve endings and let it <em> shrivel </em> in agony-...</p><p> </p><p>“...Nipple clamps…” the man added, fueling your reverie, and before you could realize your vision was filled with the helenistic figure of the boy, Kylo Ren, supple and profoundly male, yet his tender nipples pinched and reddened with unforgiving metal clamps. How low the male has fallen ! Stuck between the mighty stag and the fawn, a ripe prey. Oh, you wouldn’t satisfy him right away, you would lead him on and desecrate his budding masculine dominance, only to unleash him and reap her due reward - the rage and <em> vigor </em> he had to have at that age….</p><p> </p><p>“ There is only one existence which you need to fulfill. Yours.” you spoke when you noticed that the patient was waiting for your input. “Tell me, Bill, who else is going to take care of you, if not yourself ? What is the point of life, if you cannot experience its pleasures, its holiest and most sinful aspects ?”</p><p> </p><p>And maybe, maybe, you were just voicing your own conclusions, but this little monologue seemed to comfort Bill in his own miserable actions. You couldn’t wait to hear about the repercussions, which were very likely to bring him more hardship to spill right in your office.</p><p> </p><p>After the last patient, you were about to go back to your car when you met a familiar face leaving the director’s office.</p><p> </p><p>“Doctor” you greeted the mother of your fantasy. “No, Leia, I know that’s how you want me to call you now. Were you searching for me ?”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah !” she smiled back at you but it didn’t reach her eyes. There was an uncharacteristic unease in her manners. You supposed that treating her son had somehow perturbed the balance of power - gone was the charismatic, professional façade of her former mentor. Now you saw her insecurities in a new light, and there had to be a lesson of humility in trusting your previous student with your own son you had failed to bring up successfully. She showed you some documents. “I was just taking care of some papers, you know. You need to be paid for what I’m asking you to do after all.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not at all, it’s my pleasure to do so.” you answered, self-satisfied with your humour.</p><p> </p><p>Leia took a moment to gather her thoughts. “I noticed that the meeting was brief yesterday.” She didn’t elaborate further, and it was clear enough that she expected some kind of report.</p><p> </p><p>So she had been waiting for him. Maybe she drove him to the clinic ? It was indeed not very likely that Ben had come on his own volition. Or perhaps was she worried about something ? Your smile grew, taking notes of the overcontrolling nature of the mother, one additional tool to add to your arsenal to shift the situation in your favour. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I didn’t want to force him for the first meeting. Trust-building, you know ? And if the arrangement we discussed still stands, I will meet him every two days.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I see.” From the corner of your eyes you could see that she was playing with the edge of her documents. Once again, a very unusual, nervous tick for her. “And what did you talk about ?”</p><p> </p><p>You were so taken aback that you couldn’t hide it in time. What kind of question was that ? Sure, Leia had been your boss in another lifetime, and you were working with her son as a favour, but sharing private information regarding the session would be more than unprofessional, even in such a situation. The doctor, an intelligent woman, seemed to realize how out of place she had been, as she tried to correct herself.</p><p> </p><p>“No, of course, I am not expecting you to provide me with sensitive information. It can’t be good. And in one session, I can’t expect you to learn more about him than I do, he was once part of my body after all, and he….”</p><p> </p><p>There was something so pitiful, almost despicable in seeing this great woman so influenced by her inner turmoil. The least you could do was to - well, you could save her from further embarrassment, and better even, further your agenda.</p><p> </p><p>“Well you know, maybe you and I should take the time to talk. It is necessary to have your perspective if I want to fully understand his situation, and I could learn a lot from you.”</p><p> </p><p>Of course there was a danger that you would be influenced by Leia’s own distorted perception on what Ben was like, or what he liked to do, but it was a risk that you were willing to take if it meant gathering more information on him. This allowed enough time for the older woman to get her bearings and her shoulder straightened.</p><p> </p><p>“Right, of course.” she nodded, then considered: “it is funny how years of experience seem to evaporate when you become the one at the other side of the desk.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Leia !” someone called her, and they turned back in unison to look at the newcomer at the end of the corridor. You had never met him but he seemed familiar somehow. “I’ve been waiting for you for ages !” The tone was playful and the accent, you couldn’t place. They obviously knew each other and were of similar age. From far away, you could see that the man was glancing at you with neutral curiosity.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, one minute please.” You hoped that she would at least introduce you to him but she was either reluctant, or sufficiently emotionally perturbed to be rude, and you didn’t press on. “Tomorrow at 6 o’clock sharp then. We will make sure he arrives on time. Good night, (Y/N).”</p><p> </p><p>“Good night to you as well, Leia. Take some rest.” You couldn’t prevent that last remark from slipping, and there was a slight annoyance in the straight line of Leia’s thin lips.</p><p> </p><p>You took the time to observe her interaction with the stranger. He put a reassuring hand on her shawled shoulder and led them outside. It wasn’t her husband, was he ? He certainly didn’t look like Ben. You had never met Han Solo before, the man had been traveling abroad for years now - escaping his family duties and ignoring the agony of their marriage. A boyfriend, perhaps, someone who was trying to become a father figure to the boy ? You wondered to what extent this attempt could be successful</p><p> </p><p>When the next day came, you carefully calculated the clothes you would be wearing. Something revealing, but not too much. Something feminine, but nothing that would remind him of his mother - or perhaps was that what he was looking for in a woman ? You hesitated, and settled for your favourite attire, and added a light touch of perfume on your inner wrist and in the crook of your neck. You relished in the looks you were getting on your way to work. You couldn't help but add a little more sway in your hips, already aroused by your future meeting at the end of the day. You subtly flirted with all of your male clients as a warm up, testing some tips and looking at their reaction. Then, finally, came the hesitant knocks. When he entered the room, he looked a little bit less awkward than two days ago, as if he already owned the place. He reminded you strikingly of his mother, and you wondered if his father was like that as well.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, Kylo Ren.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hello.” He took a sit in an inelegant fashion, slightly leaning on one elbow, then silently stared at you.</p><p> </p><p>Your heartbeat increased. Had he noticed something ?</p><p> </p><p>“Is there something you would like to discuss ?” You wouldn’t let yourself be intimidated by an overgrown boy.</p><p> </p><p>“Did my mother ask you to do this ?”</p><p> </p><p>Well, straight to the point. You saw no reason to lie.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” He sighed loudly, as if he had unveiled an entire masquerade. That wasn’t really a difficult conclusion to reach, why else would he be here.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you telling my mother everything I say ?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, no, that would be counterproductive now, wouldn’t it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well why should I trust you ?”</p><p> </p><p>Cheeky boy. You crossed your arm.</p><p> </p><p>“You know what you could have done to test that ?”</p><p> </p><p>“What ?”</p><p> </p><p>“You could have told me some outrageous lie, something so big it would be impossible not to have a reaction when confronted with it. Then, you could wait to see if your mother does something about it, even if you haven't told her anything .”</p><p> </p><p>You had been kind enough to give him so many tips but he only seemed more frustrated. “Well”, he said “That’s too late now, isn’t it. So what’s your alternative ?”</p><p> </p><p>You shrugged lightly. “I don’t really have any. To be honest, I hoped time would be enough to work its wonders. Trust is not something that is bought like a simple transaction, it is a precious notion that is earned and acquired through hard work and sometimes self-sacrifices.”</p><p> </p><p>He hummed noncommittally.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s do it in reverse, then, shall we ?” you tried. “What would I gain by spilling your secrets to you mother ?”</p><p> </p><p>He scoffed. “ I don’t know. Money ? Her respect ?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think my degree and experience are enough to prove that I earned sufficient respect from my colleagues and the rest of the world. And I am more afraid that she would use that knowledge as a weapon against you. Then I wouldn’t be a very good psychiatrist, would I, wreaking havoc in your well-being ?”</p><p> </p><p>Which you did often, mainly for the fun of it, but you wouldn’t tell him that. And anyway, the atmosphere was way too serious, so you pushed your own special weapon towards him on the desk.</p><p> </p><p>“Some chocolates ?”</p><p> </p><p>No teenager would refuse-</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t like chocolate.”</p><p> </p><p>Fucker. You repressed your inner irritation and continued with the plan.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, do you mind if I do take one then ?” and you waited for his approval. Two things, reinforcing his illusion of power, and creating a more innocent, child-like projection of yourself. And third… You suggestively wrapped your lips around the chocolate and briefly moaned.</p><p> </p><p>“They are really excellent, I have them shipped from abroad. Are you certain ?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I’m good” he maintained, but he was avoiding your eyes. Perhaps you  had gone too far and had made him uncomfortable. But you knew how to control yourself, and knew that you were able to walk on the thin line between shameless flirt and unreadable cues. </p><p> </p><p>“Just another one” you tried again, swiftly licking one finger to make sure. His pupils narrowed down on your lips with the rapidity of a bird of prey. Caught him. You readjusted yourself and initiated the battle.</p><p> </p><p>“So, Kylo. Tell me, what did you do today ?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing much” he shrugged. </p><p> </p><p>“Didn’t you go to school ?”</p><p> </p><p>He shook his head to prevent some strands of hair from falling in front of his face, sighing. “No.” You were about to ask another question when he added. “I’ve been expelled.”</p><p> </p><p>Of course, Leia hadn’t considered that important enough to notify you. You would remember that.</p><p> </p><p>“How long will you be ?”</p><p> </p><p>“Another week or so and I’ll go back.” His right foot was nervously tapping the floor, shaking his whole frame.</p><p> </p><p>“And what did you do ?” </p><p> </p><p>He shrugged. It was like pulling teeth. </p><p> </p><p>“Were you violent ?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you like it ?”</p><p> </p><p>That caught his attention. The tapping stopped and their eyes met.</p><p> </p><p>“What kind of question is that ?”</p><p> </p><p>“The kind I’d like to hear an answer too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, what do you think, Doctor ?”</p><p> </p><p>“I know I like it, I’m not gonna lie.”</p><p> </p><p>He was now unsurprisingly frowning, before a smirk grew on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, Doctor, that’s unexpected from you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, you have yet to know me, Kylo.”</p><p> </p><p>Amusement lightened up his face. You were dying to touch his supple, pale, almost glowing skin and lick the moles on his neck. You wondered what he would smell like - you couldn’t smell anything from here.</p><p> </p><p>“And what’s "violence" for you, then ?” he asked, leaning forward out of curiosity.</p><p> </p><p>“I tell you mine and you tell me yours ?”</p><p> </p><p>“Deal” he accepted, crossing his arm and mimicking you</p><p> </p><p>“Well, there was that one time…” you had to think of something that would mix sexuality and violence, quick. “I was in the club, scantily clad. It was my birthday, you know, and I wanted to have fun with my friends. The dress was short enough that anyone could see my thighs.”</p><p> </p><p>You let him imagine the scene, the beat of the basses, the sweat, the fabric showing your curves.</p><p> </p><p>“Then I was not even dancing, but drinking on my own on one side of the bar you see. I hadn’t come there to meet men, merely to dance. And that man came behind me, so close I could almost feel his heat. I was in a darker corner, and no one could really notice us. I myself was feeling hot because of my drinks, and it took me some time to understand what was happening. He first softly caressed my ass, and I could feel his rough hand through the thin layer of my dress. Then he groped it, and slowly, shamelessly started to grind on me to the beat of the music. I was slightly leaning on the counter, and I suppose I looked like I was asking for it. The dress was riding up my buttcheeks, and I remember how hard his penis was against his jeans. I didn’t know who he was, just some random guy who was taking advantage of me. He was moving so slowly, with such control and languid strokes, that I’m sure no one noticed it. His hands were large and strong, and I knew he could do whatever he wanted with me. The next thing I knew I could feel hands all over my bare back, and they were getting close to my breast, cupping them, still with this maddening slowness. His fingers started to play with my nipples, and the only thing he needed was to push my panties aside to reach my most intimate part. And then…”</p><p> </p><p>There was a deafening silence. Ben was staring at you with the intensity of a man deprived from water in front of a well, gulping.</p><p> </p><p>“...Then ?” he pressed on, with a certain urgency in his voice, which cracked a little. He licked his dry lips.  “What happened ?”</p><p> </p><p>“...Then I took the bottle in front of me on the counter and swung it at his head.”</p><p> </p><p>The turn of event had a powerful effect on the boy, who recoiled a little, as if the blow had happened to him.</p><p> </p><p>“He collapsed on the floor like a wounded animal, screaming and crying.” you continued. “The music never stopped, but it did catch the attention of people around. I fled before they could find me.”</p><p> </p><p>“And they never caught you ?”</p><p> </p><p>“Never.” you smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“And the guy ? What happened to him ?”</p><p> </p><p>“I have absolutely no idea. But I don’t think he’s tried after that.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben straightened up in his chair, eyebrows raised up. “What a story” he commented, and his cheeks were flushed. You could feel your own nipples were raised, and you wished you hadn’t worn a bra.</p><p> </p><p>“My point, <em> Kylo </em>, is that violence is not only necessary sometimes, but also satisfactory, and can lead to a greater good.”</p><p> </p><p>“You mean incapacitating the assholes of the world ?” he teased.</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly.” You were taking so many risks today. But you doubted that the boy was close enough to his mother to rat on you. “So, what kind of… Assholes did you wipe out from existence to deserve a suspension ?”</p><p> </p><p>He scoffed, “ More like annoying worms. Some people I grew up with, in the church. My uncle is a pastor, and I was often forced to meet these people out of sheer proximity. And anyway, some of them think it’s enough to believe we’re friends. And that angered me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why exactly ? They don’t seem very harmful.”</p><p> </p><p>“They just think they know better than me.”</p><p> </p><p>The clock rang 7 O’clock. “What ?” Ben blurted out. “Has it already been one hour ?”</p><p> </p><p>“It seems like it. Time goes so fast when you speak, sometimes.”</p><p> </p><p>He made a face as if the utter cliché of that sentence annoyed him. What a sensitive boy. It didn’t matter, you knew the first seed had been firmly planted in his mind.</p><p> </p><p>“I will see you in two days, yes ?” And oh, wasn’t it eagerness you could ear in his voice. You stood up, and came to shake his hand. There was a new shine in his eyes. You knew he could see your cleavage from this perspective.</p><p> </p><p>“See you soon, then, Doctor.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Don't hesitate to comment, i can't wait to see if you would have reacted similarly in the same situation ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Session 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Quick update, introducing hot sex and Rey</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The curtains were drawn, and the agonizing light of the evening sun partially crept into the dark room.</p><p> </p><p>You could feel the fat drops of sweat rolling down your glistening back. You wrapped your legs around his head, almost smothering him entirely with your thighs, as his hands groped your ass and squeezed it with delight. The reaction was almost instantaneous. You shivered when a warm, hot tongue slid between your folds. The mouth sucked your pussy like an eager animal, greedily lapping up your fluids, and your thighs tightened around his head. You played with your nipples, riding his face as if your fate depended on it, and moaned loudly and without a care for your neighbours. This seemed to only encourage him further.</p><p> </p><p>“You like that, eh ? lapping me like a dog ?” you said, reaching down and grabbing a handful of his hair, pulling him closer. The sounds he was making were obscene, his pleased grunts alternating with the wet noises of his mouth sucking, licking, absolutely ravaging your sensible parts. “Take more, fuck me with your tongue” you ordered, and his tongue drove deeper within you. You let a high-pitched sigh escape when the wet muscle swirled in a circle, his big hand massaging your ass with more and more urgency.</p><p> </p><p>You imagined Ben underneath you, struggling to breath, eager to please you, and intoxicated by the scent of your juices. His large nose bumping in places it shouldn’t, his own cock dripping with precum but unable to find satisfaction. Your grip on his hair tightened further. His fat, pink tongue massaging your clit.</p><p> </p><p>“What if someone entered right now, huh ?” you taunted your lover. “Found you right there, greedily eating my pussy like a pig as I ride you, mocking you because they see how low you sank. Can you picture that ? They’d wank themselves off at the sight of us, cuming everywhere on my chest and hair.”</p><p> </p><p>He growled under you and the vibrations almost sent you over the edge. “You fucking cuck” you said, picturing the naive teenager hurt by your words, and only further aroused by them. His big, dark eyes pleading you to thrust his hard, virgin penis inside of you - his pathetic moans…</p><p> </p><p>You came undone. Your thighs quivered uncontrollably, almost crying of pleasure as waves and waves of pleasure washed over you. For a while, you were practically floating with bliss, and all your extremities were tin gling with the residual enjoyment. You closed your eyes, relishing the feeling, until a groan disturbed the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t let me like that, please…” a voice pleaded.</p><p> </p><p>You looked down, disappointed to see the flushed face of your husband. His face was covered with slick juices, and you turned back to look at his erect penis. Why not, you thought, before you heard the characteristic slam of the entrance door, followed by the typical:</p><p> </p><p>“I’m home !”</p><p> </p><p>You and you husband looked at each other, frozen for half a second, before hurrying out of the bed. You were quick to put your dress on, but he had forgotten his underwear and was struggling to put his half-hard on inside his jeans.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you there ?” continued the voice - it was his daughter, she had come back a little bit earlier from highschool.</p><p> </p><p>You rearranged your hair in the mirror, and opened the door to take a sneak peek at the corridor. There was a faint toast smell in the air. You figured she was making herself some snack, and took the opportunity to hide yourself in the bathroom to clean yourself a little. It was clear that you just had an orgasm, when you looked at your reflection with a better light. There was no need for the girl to be reminded that you fucked her dad. You composed yourself, cleaned the evidence away, then went down the stairs to greet the girl.  Looking at her from behind, you noticed that she was wearing her usual weird hairstyle, three little buns. Her frame was slim and naturally elegant, yet there was a boyishness in her manners.</p><p> </p><p>“Rey, sweetheart, how was your day ?”</p><p> </p><p>She turned back, startled, and genuinely smiled at you. There was peanut butter on her teeth, and you found the sight adorable. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m making myself some PB toasts. Do you want some ?”</p><p> </p><p>You didn’t really feel hungry, but the proposition was too nice to refuse. “Here, I’ll find the plates then”, you helped. She was playing some 80s music on her phone and started dancing while spreading the topping. You had been married to her father for four years now, so the girl had mostly grown up without a mother figure, and she was still adjusting to the fact that you somehow became one for her. You had feared rejection at first, but she had been polite, if not nice, from the beginning. She had gradually warmed up to you, confided in you, and you had somehow developed a warm relationship - not quite friends, nor mother and daughter, but something in-between.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that car grease on your hand ?” you asked, noticing the black stains on her finger when she gave you the toast. She cast a sheepish look in your direction, but you knew it was mostly for the show.</p><p> </p><p>“...Yeah.” She slowly answered. Her father had tried his best to prevent her from going to the car garage, but Rey couldn’t control herself - tinkering with cars and other motor-related objects was her passion. </p><p> </p><p>“You should wash your hands before cooking, Rey.” you winked, and she just answered with a cheeky grin before washing off the incriminating evidence. The parallel to your earlier actions was not lost on you. </p><p> </p><p>She sat in front of you and stared at your face silently, eyes wide with curiosity.</p><p> </p><p>“What ?” you asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing.” she took a bite of her toast. “I just thought you looked really great today.”</p><p> </p><p>Her bluntness did destabilize some people, but that was one aspect you loved about her. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re not too bad yourself. Hang on”  There was a spot of black grease at the corner of her eyes. You took the corner of a napkin and wiped it off. “Better.” </p><p> </p><p>She was blushing, and you were surprised how much she looked like her father, until the man in question came into the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Sunshine !” he greeted her, and it almost seemed too forced. “What brought you back from school so early ?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well you don’t remember ? I didn’t go to my kendo classes today, I need to go by Rose’s to help her carry the stuff she wants to bring to the Church. For the fair, tomorrow. Remember ? “</p><p> </p><p>You certainly didn’t. You barely remembered that a church had been mentioned. You wondered if Ben’s uncle preached there, or was likely to come.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry, Rey” you intervened. “We’ll drive the both of you tomorrow if you want, won’t we, honey ?”</p><p> </p><p>Your husband looked at you in surprise. “It wasn’t really planned. I’m not sure I can make it, I have too much work waiting for me.”</p><p> </p><p>Rey was expectantly looking back and forth at you as if you were playing tennis.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, don’t worry I’ll drive them then.” you continued - how convenient, to be freed from him.  The girl perked up : “We’ll buy you some junk food, don’t worry dad.” Then, once again facing you she added, excited: “You’ll see, (Y/N), I am an absolute beast at the firing range.”</p><p> </p><p>“I bet I’m even better at it.” you replied, and there was a fiery competition in Rey’s eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“I accept the dare then.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Session 4 (part 1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi there,<br/>another super quick update, what's happening to me, I drank the FastWriterTM juice or something</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Do you think Finn will come ?” Rose asked, and you were shamelessly  listening to the conversation while driving the two girls to the fair. You were in the middle of Spring, and the weather was sunny if not a little chilly, and for once you did appreciate the road.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know… He doesn’t really hang out with me as much, since he met that Poe guy, you know, the university student. They keep doing these race cars, and since I don’t have my driving license…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Disappointment was visible in the crestfallen expression of your stepdaughter’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that the boy you have a crush on ?” you intervened, looking at them through the rear view window. Rose froze slightly, perhaps she had forgotten that you were there. In fact you had already met the boy once or twice when Rey had brought him over, some years ago. Behind his extroverted and rather superficial façade, there was a surprising awareness in his eyes. A sharp mind, able to see through most people’s pretenses, and a tough adversary for you - not the kind of cat you could play with. You were glad his attention had been occupied elsewhere for the time being.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not really, no. He’s just cute.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s the definition of crush to me” you teased, then enjoyed her shyness before reassuring her. “Don’t worry, next time you are likely to meet him, I’ll make sure to give you some tips on how to seduce a man”.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey made a fake gasp and Rose snorted. “(Y/N) !” your step daughter exclaimed “Are you trying to pervert us ? I knew Dad had fallen to some dark magic or something when he came back with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, to be fair it wasn’t entirely untrue. Your husband had fallen in love with a meticulously crafted version of yourself, like everyone else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on,  Rey, you can’t understand. Your natural charm and prettiness attract so many people already. Not that you aren’t charming and pretty as well, Ma’am,” Rose was quick to correct. Rey rolled her eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t give a fuck, and people are so stressed out half of the time, it relaxes them I suppose. I’m hardly a beauty queen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you have a crush of your own ?” you asked, genuinely curious. Rey became uncharastically mute. “Well, perhaps a suitor ?” you helped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rose snickered. “Well, I can confess for her, there was that one guy…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rose, don’t you dare !” Rey threatened, and she was only partly joking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She keeps fighting with him. I don’t know what’s up with them, but they just can’t get off each other’s hair. I keep telling her it’s true love, but they just can’t admit it, but-...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, I fucking hate his guts, Rose !”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps you should have said something about her language, but honestly you didn’t really care. Educating children was not your forte. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really ? Why have I never heard about that ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey punched Rose on the shoulder, muttering a “thanks for rating me out”, as her friend giggled mischievously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well” she admitted “There’s not much to say. I was given a couple of detentions because of that, but I didn’t think it was worth mentioning, and at the time Dad was already mad at me for sneaking to the garage, so…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not worth mentioning ? You knocked him out, once !”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Only because he was choking me !” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What ?” and the shock was so great you actually turned around from the road to look at her. “Rey, what is that all about ? This is serious. Who is that guy ? Why hasn’t the school notified us ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter, (Y/N).” she insisted, clearly annoyed. “He was expelled for three weeks for something else just the day after, it’s all been sorted out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Could it be…?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s his name ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It really doesn’t mat…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rey” you called her, and the seriousness of your tone caught her attention. “Tell me his name. He’s clearly disturbed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ben Solo” Rose answered when Rey hesitated. “The pastor’s nephew.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, what were the odds. You knew you were likely to cross the path of multiple people at the same time, when you decided to live in the suburbs next to your workplace, but that was too good. Rey, the smart girl, must had read something on your face as she asked you:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you know him ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You had to be careful with your answer. She knew you were a psychiatrist. If you said yes, then she’d know you were working with him as your patient, and Leia had been adamant that she wanted that to be kept a secret. However, if you were to meet the boy at the fair and he recognized you, then she would know you had lied, and she would wonder why. So you settled for a partial truth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“His mother was my boss for several years. I briefly met him two or three times over the years.” And it was, in fact, the truth. “I didn’t know he would grow up to be such a troublemaker, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> You certainly didn’t like the fact that he was such a high profile character. Many people seemed to know him, and were scrutinizing his behaviour. You had chosen a high-risk target, but you didn’t want to back down. This constant ostracization from his community would only push him further into your very welcoming, non-judgemental arms. You wondered if Leia had breastfed him, and something told you that this career-driven woman had been too busy to do so. Maybe you could give him your breast, holding him on your lap, his eager mouth sucking your tits like a ravenous pup.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I don’t think he’ll come.” Rose added, breaking your fantasies. “ I mean, I remember that he did help to set up the fair, in the previous years, but he never liked it, and honestly people feel ill at ease when he’s in their proximity.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I swear if I see his emo horse face close to me I’ll stuff the piñata up his ass.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t do that, Rey, what if he likes it ? That would be counterproductive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey laughed out loud and Rose gaped at you with an incredulous face, unused TO your dark humour.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right, I’ll keep that in mind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just avoid him, if you see him, Ok ? I don't know what I would tell your dad if you come back home with a black eye.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll watch her,” Rose declared, ever the dutiful friend. “She keeps attracting trouble. It’s not fun anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You parked the car and helped the girls carry the various trays of cookies and cupcakes to the installations. The pastor came to you, and you instantly recognized the man: it was the same one you had met alongside Leia a few days ago, at the clinic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah” he began, straightening his back and offering you his hand. His blue eyes were twinkling. “I believe we have met but we have never formally been introduced. My name is Luke, it is very nice to meet you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Likewise” you shook his hand. “I can see that you and Leia are close, so I figure you are an interesting person.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that so ?” he smiled, as if aware of a joke you didn’t know, and before you could ask he preceded you. “Are you related to that little fury ?” he said, tousling Rey’s hair and ignoring her protests. You were surprised by his familiarity. Perhaps you hadn’t been paying enough attention to the girl’s acquaintances.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, of course, she’s my daughter.” At that, Rey’s head whipped around to look at you with wide eyes. You realized you had never had the opportunity to introduce your relationship to anyone before, and you had never discussed that either. Perhaps you had been too forward, but she reacted quickly enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s the best mom”. She smiled broadly at you. “She makes killer pancakes” she added, as if that was proof enough of your worthiness as a mother. Adorable girl. You knew that this little risk you took would further consolidate her trust in you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really ?” Luke said, polite, but lightly suspicious, which in itself bordered on rudeness “I don’t remember seeing you at her competitions.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s also a Kendo teacher,” Rey supplied. “You know, I talked to you about him before. The weird, strict, but funny martial art master.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I remember” you lied. “Incredible, then, a priest and a martial art expert. We don’t see that often. ” In fact, you didn’t give a fig about Rey’s boring japanese sword fighting. “I guess I must have been working at the time. But I never forget to congratulate her when she decorates our house with her beautiful gold cups.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see” Luke merely replied, hands behind his back in a show of bonhomie. “Well, faith and martial art go very well together. Both of them call for discipline, self-reflection, and inner peace-seeking. It’s also centered on being part of a community. It’s all very good for the soul.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it makes sense.” you answered, because in another context this theme could fascinate you, but you felt uneasy, like a pinned down butterfly, under the scrutiny of his blue eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a short, uncomfortable silence, and you wondered what had made this man so unwelcoming towards you. Rose seemed to pick up on it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, we won’t bother you much longer, Father. We need to give these to the cake stand before bees start to harass us, with all that sugar.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure thing” He acquiesced, and you were about to flee from him when a voice called your name. It was Leia.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am very glad you came, I wasn’t expecting you” she greeted you, gently taking your hands, and the contrast with the preacher was striking.  “Have you met my brother already then ?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ve talked a bit, yes.” you replied, inwardly surprised by their family ties. They didn’t look much alike, and you had never seen him around when Leia had mentored you. It felt like this brother had come from nowhere. She looked past your shoulders. “Are you helping the girls ? Because if not, I could use a hand to finish the antique items stand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay !” Said Rose, even though Rey looked like she wanted to protest, precariously holding the heavy trays.”We’ll make it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perfect then!” And Leia linked her arm with yours, leading you away. You swiftly glanced behind and noticed that Luke was still looking at you, and not in a hungry way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I genuinely need help to set up these infernal, dusty objects, but they bring good money for the Church” she confessed, and you laughed at her honesty. “But I didn’t expect you here. And in fact, it’s a good thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m flattered, Leia.” you joked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do like your humour but that’s not what I meant. I didn't tell you, but Ben was expelled from his school after an incident. He is supposed to go back to school next week, so I thought it was a good idea to reintroduce him step by step to societal social standards.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I gathered that much. Rey and he go to the same establishment, and she did mention him once or twice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leia sighed. “It’s a shame. I love that girl, I really do, but it’s really difficult to have her and Ben in the same room. They just seem to bring out the worst from each other. Teenagers….”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s bigger than that, though, isn’t it ?” you pressed on. She glanced at you from the side. “It is. You noticed. I know the issue isn’t Rey, she’s a bright, kind girl, if not a little bit hot-tempered sometimes. But Ben just fights with everyone. He has something… Something dark inside of him, and I just can’t place my finger on it.We’ve tried to put him in the Kendo classes, we’ve tried to integrate him in the church, but he’s just….”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Violent ?” you completed, and confronted her. “Leia, why did you withhold so much information on him ? It is very unusual for me to work with such a blank slate, and truly astonishing that you would willingly do that considering your own professional routine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She did seem a little bit guilty, you could give her that. “I know. I know it was a bold choice. But hear me out, (Y/N). His case is more than a typical, testosterone-fueled teenage rebellion and I can see that, listen, I can see that specifically because I am specialized in war veterans. There is something that I see in them that I can find in him. And I wanted you to be free from judgment, I wanted to see what diagnostic you would come up with without this knowledge.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't understand. Is this some kind of test ? I only met him twice so far”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be defensive, it is not about you, it’s about me. At least he stayed throughout the sessions, which is more than I was ever able to force him to do. You realize that I am making myself vulnerable in front of you.” The self-awareness of that person was sometimes impressive, you had to admit. “I… I am failing him. Luke is failing him. His father is barely in the picture.  I don’t want to just abandon him and send him off to the military, or waking up one day to find that he’s…” her voice faded off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That he’s what ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She paused, then looked up at you. “Killed someone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You liked that, this smell of danger. Of course, the boy had been dripping in violence and barely-concealed anger, but this was more than you had expected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What makes you say that ?” you wondered, remembering the choking incident. As far as you knew, Ben has already been expelled twice from school, recently and as a kid. Maybe even more. Leia had to be pulling several strings for the highschool to accept him back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just a mother instinct.” she whispered, then stared at something. She had led you not far away from the shooting stand, and you realized that Ben was running it. He was currently giving a fake gun to a kid, mechanically explaining the rules and pointing at various prizes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“ What a delightful contradiction then.” you remarked “ to place this potential unstable youth at the shooting range.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked you over, not impressed. “Sometimes the best way to keep them in their leash is to give them a semblance of control. It was the only way to make him come, and you and I know he won’t turn the gun against someone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do we ?” you challenged her. Both of you observed him a little while from afar, then she pulled you once again by the arm towards the antique stand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Listen. You are one of my last options. I trust you, I chose you as a student and watched you grow. I can feel that you can reach a part of him that I potentially can’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, if only she knew how true that was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t disappoint you, Leia” you reassured her. “I already feel like we’re building something positive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know” she merely answered, and you wondered why she would say that, but she didn’t elaborate and you let it go. You did help her to run the antique stand for a little while (and if you stole one or two trinkets, it largely went unnoticed) until it was time for lunch and you figured you ought to search for Rey, when a terrible roar of pain scared the birds away from their surroundings. It came from the shooting range.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Both of you ran towards the scene, and saw Ben holding his head in his hand, as if nursing an injury, his face distorted with anger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“YOU FUCKING BITCH !” he growled. “ YOU SHIT-EATING BITCH”. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey was facing him, looking stunned, one of the fake firearms in her hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben grabbed one of them on the counter, and even though the bullets were not real ones, they could definitely seriously harm someone. He was about to go around the stand and probably attack her, when Luke intervened and bodily restrained the boy. Ben tried to wrestle himself out of his grasp, and it was apparent that he was going to be successful when another man came to the pastor’s help. His face was now visible for everyone to see, and there was an angry red line crossing his face, which was drenched in blood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You observed the scene, curious, as Leia gasped and informed you that she needed to find the first aid kit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kylo was like a wild beast, and the two men could barely contain his strength and tall frame. The boy had grown to be a very tall man, which made him even more terrifying. A crowd had gathered to look at them, and you noticed Rose breaking from the group to take Rey’s hand, leading her away from the murderous intentions. A third man came to help the struggling adults. “Help me get him into the church !” Luke instructed, and the group moved in your direction. You realized you were standing in front of the door, and they had to walk past you in order to reach the building. Luke noticed you but was far more busy taking care of his nephew to do more than glance. You weren’t moving, and perhaps your true, cold character was showing, but no one was really looking at you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Ben saw you. He was sweating profusely, and his face was red with exertion and covered in blood, and his dark, feverish eyes focused on you, and you met him with equal intensity. For one mili-second, something was exchanged between the both of you. Your fascination, perhaps even admiration at his show of violence, and his realization that you had seen him -and you somehow sensed that he hadn’t wanted you to see him like that. The distraction was powerful enough to allow the three men to regain control, and they locked his arms behind his back and forcefully bent his head towards the ground like a prisoner, successfully blocking his mobility. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leia was waiting for them at the door. Her face was pale and she glanced back and forth between the expecting crowd and her bleeding son.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ladies and Gentlemen !” another member of the church called their attention. “Let us not stand there, gawking at this incident. Please continue with your previous activities.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door of the church shut down, trapping Ben in its cold walls. You could still hear his screams of rage from where you stood.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Reader is basically a sexy Palpatine in this story, psychopathic and all.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Session 4 (part 2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING Mentions of suicide (by gun).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You turned off the car, and realized how loud the motor had been now that there was only silence. It was already getting dark, and you had just parked the car in front of your house. You glanced at Rey through the rear -view mirror and she was avoiding your eyes, sheepish and looking at the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what happened, Rey ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not my fault, I…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never said it was” you softly interrupted, turning back on your seat to face her. “I am just trying to understand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hesitantly lifted her head. Her hands were playing with her coat, which had been carelessly thrown in the car in a bundle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know I told you I would avoid him, if I met him… But there wasn’t anyone at the stand when I got there, and other people were shooting, so I figured I could play first and pay after.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You nodded. You didn’t care and wouldn’t judge (she wasn’t your child), you just wanted to know her version of the story, and see if she could find anything useful in it when you would face Ben.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then he came back,” she continued. “He noticed me instantly, and he was livid. He got angry, told me that the gun belonged to him, that I should pay double for that, and then he tried to take it from me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you give it back to him ?” you wondered. Most people would have avoided a direct confrontation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She took the time to think, then with a confused smile she replied: “I...I don’t know ? His reaction was so unnecessary. He pissed me off. No way I could give it back to him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, both of you struggled to get this gun ?” you summarized.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes… And then, somehow in the battle, I suppose one of our hand was on the trigger, well then, it went off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you do it on purpose ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She went silent, looking through the window. “No… Honestly, no, (Y/N). I wish. Serves him right you know ? But… No, I didn’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Disappointing. She was telling the truth, you could see, but well, not everyone was like </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kylo Ren </span>
  </em>
  <span>after all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Plus” she added, “I know the injury isn’t fatal. I was stunned after the accident, but when I think about it, he just had a weird gash and his eyes were not injured. I guess the bullet grazed the skin.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, a bit more than graze, with all that blood, but yes, he’s not going to be blind. You were lucky”.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was now looking expectantly at you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What ?’ you asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you not going to punish me ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, yes, your new motherhood, you had forgotten. You improvised.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you already understand that what you did was wrong, yes ? You should know better than to fight with him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You won’t tell dad ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honestly I am exhausted, I just want to go to sleep, sweetie” you lied - not your problem. The man never went to church, and barely with people other than his friends at work. She was still looking at you, as if waiting for something, so you took the bait.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is there something else you want to tell me ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well…” You patiently waited for her to speak, but you sensed that she was hiding something important. “I kind of stole this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She opened her coat. There was the gun she had been using at the fire range. Now that you looked at it, it did seem a little bit different from the fake ones.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rey… Is that Ben’s gun ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this a real gun ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think so. There were fake bullets in it, but it’s a real one. It was heavier, and so much more realistic and beautiful, that’s why I chose it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And it was on the counter ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No… Behind it, almost hidden but close enough for me to take it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, of course, of course the boy had come with a real gun. For what purpose, you didn’t know, but that didn’t surprise you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I swear I just forgot about it. When I ran away. It was in my hand. I think I should give it to Luke.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No !” you replied, almost too fast. You tried to compose yourself, she didn’t need to see your interest. “Don’t worry your pretty head over it, give it to me and I’ll take care of it. I don’t want you to carry this gun around longer than necessary.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If it was Ben’s gun, then he would want it back. You could also give it to Leia or Luke.  You could keep it for yourself. So many possibilities.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had the gun in her hand and your hand was open, waiting for it to be dropped in your hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rey ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure ? I don’t know, I feel quite comfortable with that in my hand. I swear I won’t take any unnecessary risks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just give it to me, Rey.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time she complied, but she was still looking longingly at the weapon. You saw her eyes following your hands when you put it in your purse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now” you turned back to her “Let’s go inside and pretend we had the best time of the year.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>That night, you waited for everyone to fall asleep to sneak into the living room with your purse. You took the gun out to examine it. You didn’t know enough about guns to recognize its name, and had never touched one before in your entire life, but you understood Rey when she told you she liked the weight of it in her palm. There was a thrill in feeling the heavy weapon warming in your hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Your finger ghosted over the object, examining every nook and crannies on its uneven surface. It looked old. You raised it at the level of your face, and sniffed the barrel, and it smelled like gunpowder and males and forgotten primal wars. It was a real gun. You put your tongue out, the tip of it poking the surface, wondering if you would taste the blood of the people it had injured- perhaps killed ? And the metallic taste did remind you of blood, Ben’s blood, red and vibrant on his pale skin and contrasting with his dark hair. His hooded eyes, feverish and hungry for revenge. You put the barrel of the gun in your mouth, and the way it grazed your teeth made you shiver unpleasantly, as if someone was raking a fork and them and choking you with a pole. People had done this countless times before you. Swallowing the bitter taste of death, feeling the weight on your tongue of human violence concentrated in one, metallic object. The flavour of despair. Your finger caressed the trigger, and your heart was beating so fast in your heart that it was almost making you dizzy. You didn’t want to die, but the idea strangely thrilled you. Had Ben done this ? Had he thought about committing suicide, choked on the same gun, spread his saliva on the same surface you were swallowing right now ? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You imagined him, looking at his reflection, pointing the gun at it. Eyes filled with tears of anger and shame and frustration. He had to have fantasized about it. Killing his mother, his father perhaps. Luke. Rey. The whole world. Himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You had heard some people failed to kill themselves, because they didn’t aim at the brain, and so they blew their jaw away. You got it off your mouth, disgusted. Not really something you wished to see. You looked at your reflection on the window and  rearranged your hair. The gun was waiting politely on the couch near your thigh, polished with saliva.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You decided to go to a gunshop tomorrow, in order to learn how to use it and buy the right bullets, just in case. You didn’t even know how to open it, so you tried to do it, and it took you almost ten minutes to find the right technique. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honey ?” Your husband called.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You quickly hid the gun away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honey, is that you ?” he flicked the light on. “What were you doing, sitting here in the dark ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t sleep,” you said. I was drinking herbal tea, and the light was hurting my eyes. Go back to sleep, I’ll join you in a few minutes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked confused, and for a moment, you thought it would work, but he insisted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But it doesn’t even smell like tea. I’d know, I hate the smell of the one you make.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s something I let infuse overnight.” you quickly found. “I’ll let you taste it tomorrow if you want.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eh.” he stood there, like a zombie too tired to move. “Thanks but no thanks, it will probably taste weird like always.” He was getting closer to the couch. You pushed the gun deep between the largest cushions, and no one would find it unless they were actively searching for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know what, I’ll come right away to the bed.” you stood up suggestively. “ You seem… Full of energy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to suck my nuts dry, with </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>energy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You didn't answer and made the sign with your finger to follow you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he fucked you, that night, all you could think about was the taste of the gun in your mouth, and Kylo Ren choking you with it, pumping in and out of your body with the urgency of teenage boys. His groin slapping against yours with enough force to move your body with each thrust. You can’t do anything about it. He may kill you when he’s finished with your breasts, your cunt, your thighs and the fat part of your arms - he squeezes them equally. And he loves it so much, knowing he can do whatever he wants with you, his body screaming, amazed at the desire for your flesh. And when he fills you with his cream, you feel it deep within you, covering your walls, so full it seeps out of your pussy. And your body drinks it like the most precious liquid. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s exactly what you were thinking about when he faced you for his third session in your office. You almost wish he could read your mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a bandage on his pretty face. You wondered how ugly he would be underneath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you finished gawking at me yet ?” he jumped down your throat, clearly unhappy with his current look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was just waiting for you to speak.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He scoffed, then went silent again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How does it look underneath ?” you asked. A proper psychiatrist wouldn’t have been that forward. Proper wasn’t a term you used very often to describe yourself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you fucking think ? You saw it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t see much” you corrected. “I only saw the blood.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That fucking BITCH !” he suddenly shouted, standing up. You knew he wasn’t speaking about you, and so you didn’t say anything and observed him as he paced angrily in your office, fists and jaw clenched. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“ Who ?” you finally asked, even though you knew.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who do you think ??” he snarled at you. “The same stupid whore who used MY gun and disfigured me !” He kicked the wall, and you fleetingly wondered if there was someone in the other room wondering why it was shaking. You almost expected him to  comically recoil in pain, but he didn’t. You didn’t like the way he was behaving toward you, but your amusement prevailed over your annoyance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you want to do the same to her ?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh god, I don’t know, I fucking wish I could. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to shred her stupid face apart.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I bet you uncle wouldn’t like that.” you taunted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He glared at you, and if you had been his age, it would have been terrifying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know shit about my uncle.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was the last straw. You stood up, cold anger washing over you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You </span>
  </em>
  <span>sit down, boy. How dare you speak to me like that. I have done nothing to deserve your disrespect, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>I am the one in charge</span>
  </em>
  <span>, here. If I wanted, I could sign a paper and send you to a psychiatric institution. So sit. Down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Your strong dominance stunned him momentarily, and he looked like an uncertain and scared child getting scolded by his parents. Then, you could see the surprise washed away to be replaced by another form of cold anger and humiliation. His eyes were throwing daggers at you, challenging your dominance, almost asserting himself - but who was he kidding, that emo bitch was just a boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sit down right now.” you ordered, threatening, and you saw how he glanced at the door, and you wondered if he would flee, but he must have thought it would not be worth it, because he did sit down on the chair facing your desk in the end. He was crossing his arms like a petulant child.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s what you got for lusting over underage boy. Childlike behaviour. No matter how mature he looked, he was still considering you as a figure of authority, and he just couldn’t find the right balance between that and people he could disrespect. Had he no healthy relationships at all ? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You usually hid your anger pretty well. Something, with him, had set you off. The heat from your wrath was still lingering in your body, and you channelled it into something lustful. You bent on your desk as if to get closer to him, making sure he had an eyeful of your breasts. You didn’t wear a bra this time, and your nipples were almost caressing the furniture, sending shivers down you back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes zeroed on them almost instantly. You wondered if he could see their shape through your shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now listen to me, Kylo Ren” you told him in a soft voice.” I’ll be your enemy if you act like an enemy. I’ll be your friend if you act like a friend. I think that’s a fair deal, and we can both benefit from it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He licked his dry lips, and looked away. You almost thought he wouldn’t answer until he nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The anger seemed to have evacuated him, and he just looked mildly annoyed now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Actually you know what” you realized, and took your chair, then went around the desk to sit just in front of him. Your skirt was riding up your thighs. He didn’t miss a second of it, and you were already wet thinking about his gaze on you. “‘I’ll act on it. That’s how a friend would sit, not from behind a desk like a schoolteacher.” You crossed your leg, and your pantyhose-covered thigh was erotically exposed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want… to be friends.” he parroted, trying his very best to avoid looking at you. “That’s not what you're being paid for.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s exactly why I want to do it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You now felt that the dynamic was in your favour. You put your notepad down on your lap, partly hiding your thighs, and he was now gulping and almost looking at your face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am not very good at friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You could not believe he said that. How innocently childish. You meant it as a metaphor, for a friendlier interaction. He took it literally. His candeur never failed to amaze you, but the contrast with his ever-growing terrifying appearance did strike you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, do you know how it begins ?” you asked him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He waited for your response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With a smile.” You showed him your most brilliant smile. You almost thought he wouldn’t answer, but the corner of one mouth did briefly lift up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Your own smile grew even more, almost predator-like.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Bitches be crazy like that sometimes.<br/>Hide yo sons.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Session 4 (part 3)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Your attempt at diffusing the situation seemed to be rather satisfying, but you knew that his current emotional state could be turned into a more favourable outcome - and you took a risk.</p><p> </p><p>“Kylo, close your eyes.” you softly ordered.</p><p> </p><p>A slight hesitancy was shining in his eyes when he heard the command. You moved your chair forward, and your knee brushed against his. He looked almost ready to enter the fight or flight response, so you let a reassuring smile grow on your face.</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” he questioned.</p><p> </p><p>“Just do it. Trust me.” </p><p> </p><p>You almost thought he would never accept, so great was his rising anxiety at the idea of being vulnerable. What you were about to do would be the first exercise of many, in order to truly invade his psyche. You had no idea how successful you would be, but you had to try.</p><p> </p><p>When the boy finally complied and played along, you almost didn’t believe your luck, and stared at his pale face in awe. His plump lips were moist, slightly left open like an inviting rose bud. There was a slight stubble which was starting to grow on his face and his bandage hid part of his face, but his skin still held the fresh, youthful glow that was quick to disappear when men reached their mid 20s. Their skin hardened alongside their heart to become the cold machine they were bound to be after years of naive betrayals and unmet expectations. He was an emotional mess, a brat projecting his feelings for everyone to see, as if someone would accept them unconditionally. He did not realise that it only pushed people further away from him. As you were examining the silky texture of his closed eyelids, his eyes nervously twitching behind them, you realized you were given the key to his heart on a golden cushion. Ben wanted to trust someone. He wanted to connect with anyone, and you had picked him at his ripest state.</p><p> </p><p>He might never realise it, but he was at his core a romantic. Drama was his vision of what it meant to exist. So you shifted your speech accordingly.</p><p> </p><p>“As snow melts and the first ray of sun shines on Earth after winter, the first plant to respond is the one that is most likely to thrive. Their green body stretches to accommodate the spill of golden light, gorging on warmth - real warmth - as if experiencing a new feeling for the first time.”</p><p> </p><p>He was starting to frown in confusion. Lightly, your finger grazed his right hand, which had been resting on his thigh. He startled for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“No, keep your eyes closed. Feel my touch”.</p><p> </p><p>You let the weight of your hand rest on his, and waited perhaps a minute for him to absorb the information and calm down. </p><p> </p><p>“Do you feel my warmth, Kylo ?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes”, he replied in a hoarse voice, eyes still closed. It wasn’t your first physical contact with him, but the first which was based on the will to connect. You reckoned the boy was in reality starving for physical contact. Perhaps Leia had been a hugger in a different life, but you doubted that any hug or kiss had been shared between them since his childhood - today, Ben would never allow it.</p><p> </p><p>“I can see it already. Want it already.” You hadn’t meant to sound so sexual, that whole exercise was mostly about bonding but well, it didn’t hurt to titillate him.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you talking about ?”</p><p> </p><p>“Your trust.”</p><p> </p><p>His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. You followed the movement of his muscles, his clear uneasiness, yet how willing he was to follow the exercise. Each and every movement you made on his hand elicited a reaction from him, as if your fingers were leaving behind a trail of fire on his skin. You had to play smart, act as if your only aim was to create a link and let him think he was the only one finding sexual connotations in the process. The crazier he thought himself to be, the more obsessed with you he would become.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, you will hear me breathe in and out. I want you to follow my pattern, inspire through your nose, and exhale through your mouth.” </p><p> </p><p>He did as he was told. You could feel his heartbeat slowing down, some tension sliding off his wide shoulders. He had to associate you with comfort, love, care, in addition to the sexual appeal - you couldn’t let your recent confrontation become his main vision of yourself.</p><p> </p><p>It was almost too easy.  “It’s alright to be angry, Kylo. You have every reason to be angry. I see how unfair people can be, how hard and ignorant they are.”</p><p> </p><p>The corners of his mouth went down and were slightly quivering. You squeezed his hand, but perhaps your comment had rattled him too far, so you decided to take the next step and caressed his hair with your free hand. His reaction was instantaneous - he froze like a statute but kept his eyes closed and you internally praised him for his obedience- what a <em>good boy </em>he could be. </p><p> </p><p>“Calm down, Kylo, feel how safe you are with me right now. I am on your side. Feel the warmth of my hand. I only want you to feel <em>good</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>He unconsciously tilted his head, following your movements, eager for human touch. His beautiful dark hair was silkier than you had imagined, long enough to grab and pull if you wished so. You could feel his pulse speeding up through the veins of his hands. You watched his chest rise up and down, breathing in that increasingly shallow, rhythmic way that went alongside lust. You felt your own desire rise with the anticipation of being together, your nipples hard against your shirt. You couldn't control it - your nails sensually grazed his scalp, and he let out a deep, barely restrained moan…</p><p> </p><p>You suddenly put your hands away, as quickly as if you’d been burnt. You were breathing just as quickly, heady with hormones, and were already so wet - for a moment you had lost control. When you looked at him, you were almost taken aback by the intense lust in his eyes, this profound hunger for you. In an ironic role reversal, it felt as if you had turned into the prey and he was about to lurch forward. You licked your dry lips and straightened up, and temporarily avoided his eyes to compose yourself, but it was a difficult task with how loud his breath sounded in the deafening silence of your office. He had to be rock hard, you were so sure of it, dying to touch himself - you almost moaned out loud yourself thinking about it. You now felt very aware of the weight of his gaze on your face, breasts, and legs.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you feel… calm now ?” you asked, unable to meet his eyes yet.</p><p> </p><p>“I feel <em>good</em>.” was his answer, and he was way too certain of himself. The atmosphere had definitely shifted in the room. You had shown your cards too quick and he had felt your attraction. Perhaps he doubted it on an intellectual level, but his instincts had awakened and it felt as if his presence had expanded in the room. He suddenly felt larger, darker, a bit more terrifying and out of control. Dominant and aware of both his and your movements.</p><p> </p><p>You had to regain the upper hand. You channelled your inner, motherlike attitude and smiled with an innocent kindness at him. “Breathing exercises can be a great way to calm down, if you ever feel angry. You did great for the first time. I am proud of you. You <em>were</em> good.”</p><p> </p><p>This last sentence did affect him in the projected way. The tension eased up slightly and he bashfully looked down. The contrasting attitude was mind blowing: on one side the lonely, timid, dramatic teenager and on the other side the dark, brooding, violent man he was growing into. You had met him at the most exciting phase of his life, when everything had yet to be moulded for the long term and his true core was still exposed. It felt like you were facing an overgrown puppy of the most dangerous dog breeds that existed.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, I want you to do something for me, Kylo.”</p><p> </p><p>This caught his attention. He eagerly waited for your next sentence.</p><p> </p><p>“Tonight, I want you to think about me.” You let the words sink in, before adding : “ Try to do this exercise regularly. Think about how we breathed together, and my hand on yours.”</p><p> </p><p>Oh, he would definitely wank himself while thinking about it tonight. The thought of it made you weak.</p><p> </p><p>He silently nodded and swept his hair out of his face. </p><p> </p><p>“Now we still have twenty minutes left I suppose, and I want you to do a new task for me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t tell me I have to-...”</p><p> </p><p>“I want you to write something down for me.”</p><p> </p><p>He groaned out of annoyance. “Do I really have to?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not talking about an essay. You can write whatever you like, however you like. I’m just asking you to write about your fantasies.”</p><p> </p><p>“My fantasies?” he parroted, eyebrows raised. “What kind of fantasies? “</p><p> </p><p>“Any kind, it is up to you. What you wish you could do; what you wish you could be.” you explained while going back to the desk to retrieve paper and a pen. You then sat on the furniture, exposing your thigh and handed him the objects. “How about what you fantasized about when you attacked Rey at the church’s fair?”</p><p> </p><p>His face contorted under the assault of mixed emotions. Shame, perhaps, frustration, excitement, anger. He stood there, paper and pen in hand, looking confused and expectant.</p><p> </p><p>“Even the most disturbing aspect.” You hoped it would work. Due to your foolishness, Kylo would try to seduce you now, and was less likely to open up to you regarding the darkest aspects of his personality. “Of course, only I will be able to read it.” you felt the need to add. </p><p> </p><p>Once he was working on his task, you pretended to be working on something else in order to give him more privacy. It took him a long time to think about what he wanted to write, and you observed as he slapped his own head and insulted himself, frustrated by his own inability to express what he felt. Twenty minutes were apparently not enough and the time limit was stressing him out.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait” he protested when you went to him after time had passed. “I’m not finished.” He sent you a look that you could only describe as sheepish. “Can I... Take it with me and give it to you tomorrow?” you glanced over his shoulder - he had barely written two sentences.</p><p> </p><p>“What you have written already will do. We don’t have a session tomorrow, Kylo.”</p><p> </p><p>“I could come here. Give it to you personally. I don’t have classes yet.”</p><p> </p><p>You should refuse.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright.”</p><p> </p><p>You hadn’t, because every opportunity was a good opportunity. You were curious to see what he would write, and were honestly glad to meet him two days in a row. And you had an even better idea.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, I should give you my number. In case you ever need me, can’t find me, or feel the need to speak about anything, really.”</p><p> </p><p>His eyes lit up as if you had offered him his Christmas present. Excited as he was, his phone fell down when he tried to take it from his pockets and he awkwardly picked it up from the floor. As he did so, you saw the background he had chosen as a wallpaper: a “wanted” picture of a man in red and black. You wondered who it was, but figured it had to be the cover of his favourite band or something.</p><p> </p><p>You took his phone and entered your name and the number yourself.</p><p> </p><p>“See you tomorrow, then.” you smiled at him, and he, oh so naively, smiled back at you. A strange expression on his usually brooding face, really.</p><p> </p><p>XxXxXx</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>Kylo's perspective</strong>
  </span>
</p><p>That night, I searched for her name on the internet, and easily found  her pictures. I decided to print some of them and couldn't help but remember the scent of her perfume and how soft her thighs looked like. I truly felt mad with desire - cock stiff and blood pumping, almost unable to think for myself.  I dreamt about her opening her legs for me, unable to move under my greater weight. My hips moved on instinct, rutting in and out of my closed fist. Her skin, her moans, sucking on her breast and holding her down - and the way she'd hold me, shush me, cradling my head - call me <em>Kylo</em>, tell me how <em>good</em> I was… The thought sent me over the edge, and my orgasm felt so powerful, so blinding that I laid in my bed  to rest for a good five minutes.</p><p> </p><p>I couldn’t wait to see her tomorrow.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>